Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Behavioral disorders in children, medication or love and discipline?

At the beginning of my professional career, after I graduated college, I began working for a company part time and volunteering at another on the weekends and sometime throughout the week after work. At both organizations I worked with children with what they call behavioral disorders. One group was at the juvenile detention center and the other I worked as a B.S.T (basic skills trainer. While working with these children, I had noticed that quite a hand full of them had some form of a behavioral issue. Majority of the children in the juvenile detention center acted out this behavior because they had no other outlet. Some of the ladies used prostitution, drugs, fighting, alcohol, pills, etc., but not one f them used theirs talents, ambitions, their full potential towards ny of their actual goals.

While working as a B.S.T, the children were all over. They were not listening to what they were being told, disrespecting their parents, being destructive, refusing to do their chores and homework, etc. Once I sat down and took a moment to actually do an analysis on what was taking place, I developed my own theory, which may be the same as others. The first thing that individuals do when they feel something is wrong with themselves or a loved one is turn to a physician which then in return the physician administers medicine. Not every issue needs a diagnosis and not every diagnosis needs medication. When my son was younger he was extremely hyper.

His teachers would send letters home stating that he was frigidity, that his attention span was very short, he was bothering the other children, he would destroy property, and so on. They suggested that I seek medical attention for him. With careful consideration and respect I did just that. From the physician and his prescription when went to the psychiatrist and his prescriptions. They both had their own diagnosis, hence the two different medications. The meds had my son zombie like, he would sit and stare, move slow, would  not eat, and loose weight. He was only 7 so I took him off. And instead gave him my time and attention, realized that he was only a child, a little boy. I talked with him more, made his interest mine, spoke with him about his day, read to him, and built a strong positive relationship with him. His behavior began to change.The conclusion to children with behavior disorders is simply this: when a child acts out do not turn a blind eye and ignore it. Children cry out for attention, love, and acceptance the best way they know how this does not mean they have ADD or ADHD or have a behavioral problem. This means that as parents we have to pin point those cries. It is our responsibility to discipline, to be firm but yet understanding. To protect and guide. To educate. The moment we do not do these things along with some others our children will see, and that is when they create their own judgments and opinions of us as parents. Begin to formulate their own life styles. Their characters become someone else's. They assume different roles and positions, forget that they are children and not adults. All the while you have some parents who put those children in adult positions and when they become uncontrollable parents turn to those physicians who then diagnosis them as having behavioral disorders and meds come into play. We as parents should stand UP and become better role models for them.... they do need us regardless.....      

Sunday, March 15, 2015

Bullying/Cyber bullying

Bullying does not discriminate and can affect anyone of any age, race, sexual orientation, etc. Individuals who are bullied continue to carry that agony and that trauma from the era to which they are being bullied into their adult hood. It is a torment that will stick to your soul, dictate the person that you can become, affect the way you interact with others, and so on. It is something that can completely destroy ones possible potential. Just the other day a young lady of the age of 14 years old, killed herself, they found her hanging. Her mother says it was because she was being bullied by children at school. But as the story unfolds, was that the only place where she was being bullied? Sources also arise to say that it was reported to authorities that this child was being emotionally abused (bullied) by her own mother (her protector, her provider) and the case was still pending up until her death. Bullying is becoming a major issue that is now venturing outside of schools but into homes, the work place, social media, verbal bullying etc. It is getting very serious to the point where suicide and bullying has a very strong link. Unfortunately some adults and school officials will turn a blind eye to bullying and will identify it as simple children being children. Not knowing the magnitude of this behavior. There are various types of bullying to be aware of: physical bullying, emotional bullying, cyber bullying, sexting, and even circulating photos/nude photos of a child/person that they may have shared with someone that they trusted. Children endure more throughout a normal school day than we as adults my have endured in a week or even longer. Sometimes it is not as easy to speak to an adult about whats going on in fear that they may not understand or they may brush it off, so they tend to deal with it in the best way that they feel they know how, which never ends in a positive way. Bullying does not always end in the victim committing suicide, sometimes it ends in the victim committing a heinous crime against those who are bullying them. Either way it is never a positive ending.The best way to control this issue is for parents to start at home. Teach your children how to speak up when something is going on that they are not comfortable with, speak with your children ask them questions show them that you have an interest in whats going on in their life, get them to talk to you. Let them know that it is ok to speak up about things that are bothering them. Take an interest in theirs, let them know that you do care. For adults, take your place and stand your grounds. Just because it is your boss does not give them the right to treat you as though you are less than. Make them take sight of your potential, your hard work, your dedication to the company. Defend yourself against unfair treatment, it is your right..... Take the negative situation and make it work positively for yourself.....